The story of the foul-mouthed CFO – A lesson in sales

Over a six-month period, I heard multiple stories about a foul-mouthed CFO who openly dressed-down employees with language that would make a longshoreman wince.

With each telling of the story, the CFO’s behavior got more dramatic.  I could not help to think how this person’s name got dragged through the mud – because none of the people who told me the story worked at the company.

I soon began to wonder if this person could get hired again.  If I said to someone “I’ve been told this story about a CFO who swore at employees”, about 90% of the time, they would reply “Do you mean __________, at ___________”.  

I am not surprised a story like this spread so quickly.  Here’s what’s surprised me.  With the same volume, I heard stories coming out of networking meeting where the candidate was “forced out by their boss”, “needed a mental break”, “is only looking to move overseas”, etc.   Most often the statements were made by the candidate.

Remember, a search is like a sales process.  The product is you.  So be sure to present yourself in the best light by planning your networking meeting and being cautious with the statements you make.  

Unlike Vegas, what happens in a networking meeting does not stay in the networking meeting.

TXT MSG Networking leads to XME

It is easy to use the short messages of Twitter, texting, blackberry, etc., as the standard for communications.   But when it comes to networking, when being clear matter most, we often speak or send e-mails or that only communicate

 

incomplete thoughts. (Okay, I know that was a cheap parlor trick)

A few years ago, I saw Edward Tufte (www.edwardtufte.com), who is an expert in communication of information, and how he disliked Powerpoint bullet points – because of its limits on communication.

I found that is what is going on today.  At more networking meetings than I care to remember, I find myself asking questions not for more information, but simply to clarify what I heard.  Excuse me?  Sorry, XME?

I am the first to tell you to avoid excessive detail when networking.   Be you must be clear on the key points you need to communicate (see my post “The 3 Question Test after Networking”).

My recommendation:  Write out your key pitch.  Taking a lesson from Mr. Tufte, it can be more than 30 seconds, if done well.  Also, it’s still called networking, not Twittering, for a reason.   Ask a friend to listen to your pitch to help call out incomplete or unclear thoughts.  I know it can be a bit embarrassing to ask a friend sit through the pitch.  But, it’s well worth the time and effort.

 

Signs You Should Take a Break

I was a few months into my networking when I met John Rahja who’s first question was “Have you had your ‘What am I doing here’ moment?”   He explained it’s that moment when you wonder if all this networking is doing any good and do not feel like going to your next meeting.

He talked about his moment and recommended that when it happened to me, that I take some time off.  Better to reschedule than waste a potentially valuable networking contact.

Here’s another angle to think about this: If you get an hour of 1-on-1 time with someone, it’s probably more than someone on their staff.   This person has agreed to help you when they took the meeting – so make it count – for both of you.

My moment hit two months later on the way to yet another 7 a.m. meeting.  I took the meeting…barely.  I went home and cancelled the rest of the day. 

If you get someone’s moment – do them a favor and tell them to take a break.

 I experienced someone else moment.  I arrived at the coffee shop, the person I was meeting with said hello and immediately followed with “Look we know why we are here; I just need three names – so no need to get any coffee”. 

Other signs that you might need a break:

·         Find yourself dismissing what a potential contact might be able to give you – before you meet them

·         Start to ‘wing it’ versus preparing for meetings

·         You do not take any notes for a meeting

·         You cannot remember what was discussed at a meeting

·         Follow-up notes start to go out more than 72 hours after a meeting

·         You’re generally cranky as all get out

Take a couple days off from meetings.  Just stick to filling up with future meetings.

Checking Your Referrals

This is a lesson in protecting your reputation.  Before you meet with someone – see what you can learn about their business dealings.

I was able to meet with Clyde (Surprise! Not their real name).  He was very gracious, professional and extremely well connected.  Our meeting resulted in sixteen network contacts.  Wow!   That is a candidate’s dream – a week’s worth of networking in a single meeting.

Being so stoked about the meeting, I told my colleagues.   Then a good friend said “I’d be careful tying your name to Clyde’s.  His business reputation is very mixed”.   In time, I found this was very true, nothing unethical, but let’s just say he took care of himself.

Thank heaven my friend said something, as I’ve networked with people who prefer to not deal with Clyde.   Bullet dodged, lesson learned.

I did follow-up on Clyde’s contacts, but I was certain to establish my relationship with him. 

Being honest about how well you know someone

It is nice having a strong relationship with the person who referred you – as the referral is seen as a personal recommendation.   Once you move along in the chain, the relationship is thin, but that does not mean you’re networking meeting is doomed.   It’s only doomed if you overplay the depth of the relationship.

At almost every meeting, the question of how well I know the person who made the introduction is asked.  I am straightforward; in fact, I give the entire chain of referrals.

The only comments I made that showed any type of ‘relationship’ with someone I had only met through networking was areas we had in common (colleagues, companies, etc.) and the number of referrals that they gave me.

I know overplaying your hand dooms the meeting.   Here’s another mistake I made early on in my networking – so you don’t want to make the same one.

While I did not outright lie, I was not clear and it set a poor tone for a couple meetings.  I used vague language regarding my relationship, figuring that the person I was meeting could ‘imagine’ what they like.  What I think they imagined in that “this guy is a desperate job seeker or an idiot or both!”

Establishing a “Do Not Call” list

I added this topic, because people forego good judgment (myself included), in order to get to connect with someone who is supposedly a ‘great’ network contact.

This topic would seem to run counter to everything else on this website.  But your time is one of the most valuable resources in a search, so spend it with people who see networking as a mutually beneficial activity.   For those who don’t make your “Do Not Call” (DNC) list. 

As your network grows you will run across the following types of people

1.       The Takers  (“What Can You Do For Me”):  Make no effort to offer help in return

2.       The Inactive:  Offer to help, but never do, even after you follow-up

3.       The Scam Artist: See networking as a trick to get what they want versus building a relationship

4.       The Bold and The Not Beautiful: Trade on your name without your permission to get connected

5.       The Tosser: They pass out contact information for people with whom they have no relationship

For the “Takers” and “Inactive”, I generally give people the benefit of the doubt on a first meeting, unless it’s over the top that this person is bad news.   For #3-#5, once this tiger shows its stripes, put them the DNC list.

In networking, your reputation is everything.   So give strong consideration before connecting them to your network.    Also, if they call to meet again, politely say “No”.

“That is an excellent event for networking”, hmm, maybe

The networking equivalent to the dating line “they have a great personality” is “this is an excellent event for networking”.

There are dozens of meetings that you can attend a month (associations, professional groups, non-profit fundraisers, rotary clubs, etc.).   Not every meeting is created equal when it comes to networking.

Just because there is a large group of people you do not know, does not mean it’s a good networking gig.  Many people go to see people they know and gather in small groups during the social hour to catch up.

If you break into the group, after introductions, they are back to their prior conversation.  So you pretend your drink needs to be freshened up and mosey along.  You bounce around the small groups and maybe score a business card or two.

You sit through the dinner.  Mmmm, Mmmm , twice baked potatoes.   Listen to the speaker then go home.   Man, that meeting sucked.

So here’s how to avoid it:

1.       Ask around before you decide to go.  See if any of your colleagues have gone to this meeting before and get their opinion on the networking quality. 

2.       Get a host.   Have someone who is a member of the group to escort you around and make introductions.  This does not have to be a lifelong friend, just someone you know well enough that they won’t ditch you after 5 minutes.

3.       Skip the meetings with limited networking time.   If there is limited time, then that limits your networking with the people at your table – which is realistically four people.  Two to your right, two to your left – they are the only ones you can carry on a conversation without shouting.