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Self-Esteem Takes a Holiday

July 3, 2009 by

No matter what titles were held, the progression in responsibilities or series of successes, a job search has a common impact on us all:  Sooner or later you start to wonder why it’s you in search or why you did not land a role.  

We all make mistakes in our jobs, but in search the mistakes seem to stand out because a search is personal.  The recruiter or hiring manager(s) is judging you.   Sure they’ll tell you have great experience (which you probably do), but that is of little consolation. 

If a few things don’t go your way, a bit of self-doubt creeps in when you start asking questions like:

·         Is there something that people did not tell me about my performance?

·         Am I as good as I think am?

·         Why did I get let go anyway?  Why not that one goofball in Accounting (you know who I’m talking about)?

·         What will people say about me when companies call?

·         Am I approaching my search wrong?

Questioning yourself is useful to help correct errors.  However, if find yourself dwelling on these topics over and over, then find something that boosts your psyche.   A candidate who comes across with low self-confidence or desperation will have a difficult time.   As my friend, Judy Zimmer, said to me “The two areas where desperation does not work: Dating and Job search”.

So this section is all about getting your self-esteem back in place – don’t worry if it slips from time to time.  Just don’t let it take an extended holiday! 

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Words Make it Positive, Actions Make it Stick

July 3, 2009 by

A colleague of mine who has been in transition, Peter Russell, said to me “the downward spiral can be so fast, if you start thinking poorly of yourself”.

I’ve met dozens of folks who have experienced a downward spiral, including myself, and we all agree that the way out is to talk and think positive about yourself.   But when you’re unemployed, the words require some help.

Back to Peter, he runs a networking group of employed, start-up entrepreneurs and in-transition folks who gather weekly to try to help one another (The Dunn Brothers Group – named after the coffee shop where we meet).   For group members in rough times, the group will provide positive support, but more importantly it provides actions on their behalf (introductions, etc.). 

Your words create a positive environment for your search, but taking actions to create progress make the positive attitude stick.

In you are currently in a down mode, my advice is to start the day by writing down a small set of actions you want to accomplish (e.g. Sending ten e-mails to set up meetings, contacting ten people who’ve already met, etc.).   You just have to hit the ‘Restart’ button – so start small, but also try things you have not done before.  You may want to check out the “Daily Point System for Job Search” in the tools section.

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The Benefit of Having a Project

July 3, 2009 by

I know the title of this post may sound trite, but within a job search, the small things can make an impact.   Let me share my story and why I’ve recommended it to others.

Several months into my search, I had six solid opportunities underway – all in the interview stages.  On one opportunity, I got an unsolicited call from the President to say I was the number one candidate and they were sending me all their employee benefit information.

Mental Status: Feeling pretty damn good.

Fast forward one week.   Now I have zero opportunities.   All six are as dead as Julius Caesar.

Numbers 1 & 2: Went with internal candidates.  Number 3:  I lost out to another candidate.  Numbers 4 and 5:  Both put the job on hold for indefinitely due decision to reorganize.  Number 6: The role where the President called me -The CEO brought in his own candidate.

Mental Status: Feeling like crap.   My self-esteem did not go on holiday; it went on a flipping lunar excursion.

I got the call on Number 6 on Friday.  So I am staring at a networking calendar that was pretty blank as these deals had taken all my time.   It was going to take a good deal of energy it’s going to fill it again – of which I had none.

Instead of networking, I made a list of projects that I’d been itching to work on – picked my favorite one and started.  Over the next couple of weeks, I split my time between networking and these projects.  The projects were just the ticket to help me get back into the game.

I know it all sounds kind of silly – but sometimes it’s the simple things that can make a big impact.  So if you’re down, find a fun project.

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Taking Advantage of the Freedom in Your Schedule

July 3, 2009 by

There’s a saying “The problem with unemployment is that when you wake up, you’re on the job.” – Actually that’s not completely true, though it does feel like it.

Outplacement firms and fellow candidates will recommend you spend 35 – 40 hours a week on search.   After 40 hours, your productivity begins to slide.   In discussions with fellow candidates, we all agree as you tend to focus on issues with diminishing returns.

Your weekly priorities should be to dedicate time to your search and then dedicate time to yourself.  

Use the extra time to take some on-line courses/seminars to develop your skills, volunteer, etc. – it does not matter.   Just think of all the stuff you never had time to do when you were working.    If you can, sleep in on Wednesday.  

The non-search activities allow you to make progress and accomplish tasks.

For ideas on your schedule, look under Candidates Tools for “Organizing Your Search Week”

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Giving Back and Keeping Your Skills Sharp

July 3, 2009 by

Dedicate a few hours a week or month on working with non-profits, community boards, etc. these are excellent ways to keep feeling positive.

The people who work for the non-profits and your fellow volunteers greatly appreciate your contributions, so it’s a very positive experience.

You also get to put your skills back to work and mostly likely learn some new ways to apply your skills as well.

You will also enrich your life with the people, both personally and professionally.  I have been working with the Friends of the St. Paul Library for several years (www.thefriends.org) – the staff and board are an amazing group and the impact from the literacy programs is truly wonderful.

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Schedule a Tune-Up Game

July 3, 2009 by

Take a look at a couple of NCAA Division 1 football teams’ schedules for early in their season.   It’s guaranteed the schedule has a school that you’ve never heard of, much less being known for having a football team.

The sole purpose of the game is to give the Division 1 team a chance to practice some new plays, try different players, etc. without a high risk of losing.  Also, every win builds confidence.

Your ‘tune-up’ is a meeting with someone who has a vested interest in you.  These are the people, who if reach out and tell them you are struggling a bit, can help you get back on track.  They will remind you of your strong points, but more importantly, they will be honest and help you fix your weak points.

·          My Dad would say to me “You don’t get hurt by what you don’t know.  It’s what you think you know, but don’t – that’s what hurts you”.   This is what you’ll find out in your tune-up game.

You will walk out, like I have, feeling much better and more focused.   The beauty of our tune-up games is that you can schedule them at anytime.

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Welcome to the Weekend – Just don’t think too much

July 3, 2009 by

You need to treat your weekends during search just like when you work.  Have some fun, work on your project list, or enjoy time with friends or family (for ideas for family, see the link to the book “The Family Book – Amazing Things to do Together” on the Candidates Resource page).

Do what you need to get ready for interviews and networking meetings, but otherwise, take a break on the weekend.

The main issue is that it’s tough to make progress on the weekend.   As generally there is no one on the other end of the line of e-mails, voicemails, etc.   So as you work by yourself on a weekend, especially after a slow or disappointing week, you tend to focus on items that just don’t move you ahead and miss time to refresh your mind.   Rewriting a couple sentences in your resume for the third time are not going to make the difference – being ready to present a positive and confident persona on Monday will.

If you have a burning desire to launch off a bunch of e-mail requests, wait until Sunday night.  I found that’s when folks look at their Blackberries/E-mail and tend to respond.  

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Find an (Job) Angel

July 3, 2009 by

One of the most creative and important groups that helps other people in their search is Job Angels (www.jobangels.org).

Simply put it matches up people looking for work with people willing to help.  Within months of its launch it had over 6,000 members and was featured in a Wall Street Journal article.

Outside of Job Angels, I have found that professional groups offer some of the best support – as you share of a common bond of the same professional, but many offer job support groups.   Talking with someone who faced the challenges and found a role like the one you seek can be very insightful.

Whether a Job Angel, a fellow candidate or professional colleague, finding someone who is willing to listen and can give an objective view on your search will really spark some energy – both mentally and physically.

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A Reason to Feel Proud

July 3, 2009 by

A job search is a battle of inches.  But each inch earned can make a huge difference.

Each networking meeting, e-mail or phone call, will hopefully gain you a few more inches to get someone to know you are looking, to hear about opportunities or get the right information.

At any given moment, the inch gained may not seem like much.  They are easy to lose sight of, especially with all the pressure of financial, family, etc.

But each day, you need to be proud of keeping your focus and working a plan.  You will find the inches add up, especially if they are built alongside those you helped other obtain. 

How my inches came together:

I shared this site with a colleague.  He forwarded a note to his networking group.   A member sent me a nice note.  I responded with a ‘thank you’ and mentioned I was looking for a CFO role.  He responded that they were looking for a CFO.  Two weeks later I started.

This may sound like a crazy chain of events.  But after three years of being involved in search and transition groups, I can tell loads of stories where it was two or three events that resulted in a new role.

Be proud of the inches gained and what you’ve shared.  A strong spirit is more important than a strong resume if you are going to present yourself as the best candidate.

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The Art of Settling for Less than Expected

July 3, 2009 by

At my monthly job transition group we had a discussion about accepting a role that is less than or outside what you seek.

Several folks have faced this situation and the general consensus was as follows:

If financial state requires it:

 Go ahead, but remember it’s only a temporary situation, so don’t stop networking – you’ll have to likely keep it to early morning coffees and lunches. 

If possible, try to get a role where you’ll do well – so you build some goodwill among your new colleagues and who knows what might happen within that firm.

If emotional state or home situation requires it:

Go ahead, but only if you can absolutely ace the job and exceed expectations.

Accepting a job so far below what you held previously held or outside your area of experience will likely find you not performing well and back on the street with a hole in your resume and no references from the position.

Good advice from fellow candidates who have faced this tough decision.

 

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